


DJ Sick Fires

by Coppermatsu



Category: Pocket Monsters SPECIAL | Pokemon Adventures
Genre: Alternate Universe - High School, Comedy, Gen, Gold is a DJ
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-08-27
Updated: 2019-08-27
Packaged: 2020-09-27 16:37:24
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 3,553
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/20410924
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Coppermatsu/pseuds/Coppermatsu
Summary: Yo this is the story all about howGold went to DJ, tried not to clown.And I’d like to take a minute,Just sit right thereI’ll tell you how he set fire to prom by kicking his mic in the air.





	DJ Sick Fires

**Author's Note:**

> This fic was done for the Pokemon Special Discord Formal Themed Writing Event! 25 characters each received their own story in a formal setting, with various genres and styles. Enjoy my entry for Gold!

_ “DJing a prom for the neighboring high school? Are you SURE you know how to censor yourself enough for that?” Crystal’s worries rapidly tumbled out on the group call in response to why Gold couldn’t make their weekly friend dinner that day.  _

_ “Chillax, super serious gal! These kids are gonna have a censored fucking blast, I promise.” _

_ “Gold-” _

_ “FREAKING blast. Promise.” He could hear Crystal sigh.  _

_ The third member of the call chimed in as well, “...I bet someone tries to spike the punch.” _

_ Gold scoffed. “Does anyone even try that anymore, Silv? Honestly.” _

_ “You did.” Crystal and Silver spoke in unison. _

_ “Okay okay whatever, it was a JOKE. And it was only some Capri Sun, anyway! Just wanted to make sure they were keeping proper watch.”  _

_ “You did that as a test run before bringing the ACTUAL ALCOHOL-”  _

_ “Well it DIDN’T HAPPEN so it’s fine! Yeesh, it’s in the past.” Gold forced the old memory under the rug before anything else from their prom was mentioned. _

_ Crystal bit back a lecture, settling with a sigh and one final warning.  _

_ “Whatever you do, just PLEASE do not play your awful Sound Cloud rap.”  _

_ “Don’t worry, Cryssy! Those kids wouldn’t be able to handle my sick fires!” _

* * *

The Unova High campus was impressive, to say the least. Gold spent at least five minutes driving around to find the gym amongst the many buildings. Lugging his equipment inside, he let out a low whistle in awe. “We’re not at Kanto anymore, Politaro… hot  _ damn _ .” 

The gym was twice the size of his old high school’s and decked out in extravagant black and white decor- the school’s colors. Three photobooths, two raffles, a long table with five different punch bowls in the back, and a massive stage with more balloon arches than were probably necessary were just the immediate details that Gold caught as he first entered. 

Of course, before he even had a chance to pick out a nice spot on the stage to set up, a large, boisterous man with long, untamable orange hair clapped Gold on the back, catching him by surprise. The expensive controller and mixer cases were nearly sent flying, but the orange-haired man deftly caught them with his surprisingly strong arms.  _ How old IS this guy? _

“Haha, watch it, kid! Can’t be dropping those precious electronics!” He returned them into Gold’s arms. 

The stranger was given a quirked eyebrow in response. “Er, thanks, are you the gym coach or something? I’m here to DJ, soooo…”

“Oh!” The man snapped his fingers in recognition. “You must be DJ boy! Welcome, thank you for helping out! The name’s Alder, I’m the principal here at Unova High!” Gold had to quickly shuffle the cases to be held by one arm as Principal Alder firmly grasped his “open” hand for a handshake. 

“Psh, no sweat! I’ll have these kids dancing like it’s the spiciest meme of the hour. DJ Gold at your service!” He flashed the principal with a grin. He was met with the loudest belly laughter he’d ever heard, save for that one time he met Hoenn’s crazy Physics teacher, Wattson. 

“HAHAHA! Thank you, young man! Spicy mem-ays are important to them, I think. Juniper! Can you tell him where to go? I wanted to make more balloon arches!” Principal Alder was gone as soon as he’d come, leaving Gold blinking in his dust. 

A young woman dressed in modest white and green dress came dashing over after Alder’s exit. 

“That man… I swear… ah, hello! You must be the DJ! Sorry about him, he’s... energetic.” She held out a hand. “The name’s Aurea Juniper, vice principal. Just call me Ms. Juniper though, okay? The kids can’t handle first names for adults yet.” 

Gold shook her hand, unable to suppress a cocked eyebrow. “Well Dr. J, we can always switch to first names if we-” 

“ALDER, THAT’S TOO MANY BALLOONS. Ah, sorry, kid! I’ve got to make sure he doesn’t get carried away… you’ll be located over by the punch bowls in the back, okay? Thanks, sweetie! Oh, and keep it minimal on the slow songs, they’re too young for that.” And then she was off at a surprising speed for those heels- wait, were those actually tennis shoes? 

Gold snapped his fingers. Damn! Didn’t even get to finish his line! He hoped that this was only one of many hot teachers of the evening and began his waddle over to the back corner before gently setting down the heavy gear. 

Before he could even look up, he noticed the arrival of a man in… a trench coat. Gold stood up to look a very shifty man in the face, since his eyes were busy glancing about. The trench coat was draped over a brown suit. Gold didn’t have a chance to say anything first.

“…Psst.”

“…Are you fuckin-”

“Silence, newcomer! I must have a word with you.” The trench coat man scooted closer, much to Gold’s distaste. 

“Dude, what are you-”

“You see, these children… be careful of them. They are devious. Will pick your brain.”

Gold squinted at this… character. “…Uh-huh.”

The man put his hand thoughtfully on his rugged chin. “So, I am here to remind you to keep your guard up, don’t let them get to you.” 

“…Thanks, then-” 

But the man was gone, with only an identical man wearing strange glasses and a mustache left shuffling away in his wake. 

Gold crouched down to start opening his cases and assembling his workspace, shaking off whatever the hell just happened. The foldable table they supplied him would have to be enough to work with, because- is that another shadow looming over him?

He looked up to see a dashing, grinning figure smartly dressed but still wearing a lab coat… who are these people?

“I didn’t think we’d be getting a visit from the French Ambassador today,” Gold quipped, dusting off some of the sparkle this newcomer’s demeanor scattered as he moved. 

A light but hearty laugh answered him. “Ah,  _ malheureusement _ , it’s just Dr. Sycamore, the vice principal of the Kalos High School before you!” Those were some really tight slacks he was wearing.

Gold shook his head in confusion and to stop looking at that shapely ass. “Wait, wait, wait. I’m DJing for Unova High, though? So what the hell- er, heck- are you doing here?” 

The vice principal blinked in surprise. “Oh? Did they not tell you? This is a combined prom! Our students at Kalos didn’t have a gym to use since our campus burned down, haha! But they finally get a night to let loose, so make sure to get them some divine  _ musique _ !  _ Au revoir _ !” 

And with a little wave, the Kalos vice principal was gone. Gold rubbed his temples. Their campus burned down?! He sighed and continued to unpack, setting up his equipment and prepping to retrieve his speakers and cords left in his car.

“Ah, Alola, DJ bro! Need any help?” If Dr. Sycamore was an anomaly, then the next newcomer had to be at the wrong party. What faculty member wore just a formal vest and rolled up slacks to a prom? Okay, maybe the bowtie let it slide but you could see his pecs under there-

“Uh, yeah, gotta go grab the speakers from my car, actually.”

“Great! I’ll help. I’m Dr. Kukui, but you can just call me Kukui- or the Masked Royal, even! Bahaha!” Dr. Kukui’s friendly chatter accompanied them all the way to Gold’s old hand-me-down car.

Gold had barely started gathering the wire before Kukui had already picked up three speakers with ease. “By the way, thanks so much for coming! Our kids at Alola High can be a bit rowdy, but they’re really good when it comes down to it!” 

Gold picked up the last speaker with the wires wrapped around his arm and locked the car. “Pssh, not a prob- wait. There’s gonna be three high schools sharing one prom?! Arceus...!” 

Kukui laughed as he followed Gold back to the large gym. 

“Yeah, we’re a small school, so our gym would be a pretty sad place to hold a prom! Unova High was too kind and offered to host for the three of us.” He set the speakers down carefully. Gold whistled. 

“Dam- dang, that’s wild, I hope there’s enough space.” 

“Ah, there will be! But uh, hey. Since you’re by the punch bowls...mind keeping an extra eye out so that they don’t spike it? Don’t need these kids doing anything too dangerous now! Thanks, bro!” Kukui gave Gold a friendly fist bump and then hurried off to the next heavy-lifting job. 

Well, at least all of his equipment was here and ready to be- “Holy shit, is that Dr. Oak with a tan and a mullet?”

A man of that exact image passed by, shooting finger guns and a “light some sick fires, m’boy!” as he went. 

Gold sent a quick text to Silver and Crystal without context:  _ I fear for today’s youth. _

The setlist for the beginning of the night seemed to kick off well. Gold featured a lot of EDM bops that had an easy bass line to dance to and get them warmed up. He threw in a few pop hits from the past three years (that he didn’t loathe) and the crowd of awkward teens seemed to enjoy it.

Except for one energetic brooding fellow who happened to be pacing by the punch table. His fluffy, dark brown hair was poorly tamed and he had no idea how to hold himself in such a nice suit with light blue accents.

Gold rested his wireless headphones on his shoulders, and then attempted to get the guy’s attention.

“Hey, kid!”

“ _ Mumble mumble but mumble mumble _ -”

Arceus, this guy was an anxious mess.

“...Yo, mumbling dude! By the punch table!”

“ _ Mumblemumblemumble _ PRETTY oh,  _ mumblemumblemumble _ -”

Oh, this would be too easy.

“OI NERD, WHO’S PRETTY?” Gold spoke up, alerting some of the nearby dancers- as well as the pacing kid, who jumped in surprise. 

He glanced around to make sure someone wasn’t listening in and sprinted over to Gold’s station in a huff.

“Wh-What the hell, man?! Why did you-”

“Who’re you mumbling about, Romeo?” Gold smirked, and the boy turned red.

“H-Huh? I dunno what you mean, I’m just-”

Gold snickered. “What’s your name, dude?”

“...Black…” He mumbled, still looking a bit defiant. The DJ tossed it away immediately.

“Well, Mumbleo, tell DJ Love Guru your situation,” Gold coaxed the nerdy, anxious teen out of his shell, despite how underqualified he was for this task. 

Black gulped, adjusting his blue tie so that it wasn’t a complete mess. “Well uh, you see… Prez- the Student Council President, I mean- asked me to come with her to prom since no one else asked her, and I said yes, but then we got here and I can’t look at her but I  _ want _ to look at her, but she’s too pretty and what if she thinks I’m doing this because I don’t like her-”

“Bro shut up for like five seconds, please! You’re killing me, it’s too painful!” Gold faked hacking and wheezing before turning back to Black, pointing at him.

Black looked like a stantler in headlights. 

“You wanna get over it? Show her you aren’t being a wuss?”

Something snapped in Black’s brain. “I’m not a wuss! I’M GOING TO BE THE BEST BASEBALL PLAYER EV-” 

Gold slapped a hand over the kid’s mouth. 

“You want her to notice you? Shut up, go ask her to dance, and I’ll play you a perfect song so that everything will fall into place.” The DJ looked too convincing for the poor confused high schooler, so he just nodded and gave his complete trust to Gold.

For better or worse.

Gold watched as the wobbling duckling waddled over to the edge of the crowd, where a blue-eyed brunette beauty waited, looking concerned. The DJ cracked his knuckles and flipped on the “spicy” setlist. 

The smooth, jazzy music overflowed in the gym, and people began to pair up. Gold observed as Black froze up on his way over to the pretty brunette. He slowly creaked his head around to give Gold the biggest lillipup eyes he’d ever seen. 

Gold brought the mic to his mouth. 

“ _ Ask her, you fool _ .”

“P-PREZ, PLEASE DANCE WITH ME!  _ I MEAN WHITE _ !” Black’s voice boomed over the music, and the room stopped. 

The stunned brunette’s blue eyes blinked in shock, her blush hidden under light foundation. However, her face softened as she looked at her earnest companion. 

“ _ Y-Yeah _ …” 

Whoops and hollers cheered them on until Dr. Juniper hushed them and glared over at the DJ, who happened to be looking away. 

After all, there was a peculiar young lady hiding behind the punch table, drink in hand. Her hair was tied up in buns that Gold had to remind himself were probably not donuts. …But were they? 

“Oh, greetings, DJ Gold.” 

Gold whipped around to see a composed kid with explosive hair and a dark blue suit on. Reddish eyes studied him closely. The DJ squinted.

“Hey there, uh… kid. You into internet stalking or something?”

The young man laughed. “Oh, no! Research is certainly a viable course of action, on the other hand. Regardless, it’s nice to meet you. My name’s Lack.” 

“Lack, whatever drugs you want, I don’t have ‘em, so-”

“Have you ever killed a man, Gold?”

“Have you ever stopped playing FPS games in your life?”

They stared each other down until Lack broke off with a smile. 

“You’re more capable than I thought! Great. I was hoping you could help me with some information. You see, that young lady over there behind the punch table…” He gestured to the girl with the buns who was not-so-secretly glancing across the room at something.

“…The squirrely one?”

“Yes, that lovely maiden. I was wondering if you could advise me. For some reason, she does not seem to want to dance… Which is… suspicious.” Lack observed her for a moment with Gold. The girl sighed and took a sip of punch, unaware of being watched.

“What, you gonna ask her to dance?”

Lack frowned for just a moment. “I already did, which is what perplexes me. I have yet to find a maiden’s heart that I couldn’t sway…”

Gold nearly had a stroke. 

“Holy shit, you’re a younger me.”

“Hm?”

“I mean, holy shhhhikes? Whatever. Look I’m gonna be real with you, I’ve BEEN there. And let me just say that-”

He paused as what looked to be a young teacher, if not a student teacher, with a long green ponytail walked by, and the donut hair girl froze up. 

“…maybe she’s into somebody else?” Gold ended his suggestion on an uncertain note, raising his voice a little too high. 

Lack stared. At Gold, at the girl, and then at the tall green haired man slowly walking further away. His face suddenly became quite serious.

“No… it’s the children who are wrong.” 

And then his pursuit of the donut girl caused her to flee, with Lack tailing behind her. 

Gold would have watched them scamper off if he didn’t see a hand reach out from under the punch table’ tablecloth to grab a drink. He squinted.  _ What’s with these kids and the punch table…? _

Leaving the music on the “old classics” setlist, he abandoned his station for a moment to investigate the table. Lifting the cloth, he found… a young man in a navy suit and dark red bowtie, munching on snacks and sipping punch.

Silence. Until the young man under the table swallowed.

“…Don’t tell anyone. Especially- oh no.” He quickly pulled the tablecloth back down before Gold could utter a word. 

A gorgeous looking blonde in a dark red dress came bounding toward the punch bowl area, calling out a name.

“X…! X, where’d you go~?” She played innocence before deftly lifting the tablecloth to the table beside the one Gold was crouched at. 

“…Psst, blondie…” Gold got her attention and gestured to the table. The young woman’s eyes lit up.

“Oh X…” The tablecloth was lifted in a flash, and X could only yelp in surprise. 

“Y, no, please-”

“YOU PROMISED ME YOU’D BREAKDANCE LIKE TIERNO TAUGHT YOU, COWARD!!!” She grabbed X by the arm and started pulling, even though the poor boy scrambled to get away. 

Y seemed to be much more fit, however, and eventually won out. X shot Gold a look of betrayal before shuffling his feet in front of Y. 

“…the cameras, though…”

The blonde suddenly became very sympathetic. “Don’t worry, I won’t let them. Just have fun, okay?” 

She waited until X gave a resigned nod, and then her grin was immense. Taking his hand, she pulled him back to the mob of dancing teens. 

“HEY EVERYBODY, PUT YOUR PHONES AWAY OR ELSE!!” Her voice nearly boomed as loud as Black’s did, but it successfully got everyone’s attentions. She pointed over at Gold. “DJ, we gettin’ TURNT!” 

Gold knew what to do. He cranked up an upbeat mix and let the kids have at it. 

Which, he couldn’t actually see, since they were dancing in the midst of a crowded circle. The teens were loving it, however, as many cheering and hollered as X supposedly broke it down. 

Too bad Gold couldn’t see it. 

What he did see was a very curious cat-faced boy in a bright yellow suit appear in front of his setup. “Not again…”

“Heya, DJ guy!” This face was… too friendly. Too casual. Gold trusted him less than the strange investigator from earlier. 

“Whatcha want kid, a fortnite dance song? Sorry, I’ve got standards.”

“Haha, you’re such a liar! Anyway, I wanted to ask you something.”

_ He saw right through me, damn! _

Gold sighed. “Sure, what do you… what…” 

And there it was, finally someone was tinkering with the punch bowl. A young woman in a deep purple gown and braids was shuffling something into the punch. And… it did not look like alcohol.

“What the hell is she-”

“Hey how much do you make as a DJ? Isn’t it like, super easy?” The boy rambled at Gold, paying no heed to his protests.

“Wait, hold up, what’s she doing over there? Hey, girl! By the punch! I SEE YOU doing that.”

The young woman started to shuffle around faster.

“Anybody can do your job right? What do you charge? How-”

“Pipe it, Cat Boy!” Gold hurried over to stop the girl from continuing, the boy following with his bothersome questions. 

He turned the girl around, and she already had a cup in her hand. She stared at Gold with level eyes.

“What’s in the punch, Emo Chick?”

“Here, Sun. Taste it.”

“Haha no way, you probably poisoned that, Poison Maiden!” Cat boy Sun quickly used Gold as a meat shield. 

She sighed. “I paid you to pester his attention away, the least you could do is try it for failing your job.” 

“Technically, you paid me to pester him. Not keep his attention away from you.” Sun grinned. “You were bound to get caught, Moon!”

Gold was still wrapping his mind around the entire situation.

“Lemme get this straight, you are trying to  _ poison the students? _ ” 

Moon blinked. “I have the antidote. It was just for an experiment on clearing up facial acne with a few side effects-”

But it was too late, Gold had stopped listening. 

“Haha… haha… what… the FUCK is wrong with you kids?! It seemed like innocent introversion, but some of you are straight up WACK. I’m… I can’t believe I tried being to good when you fuckers were out here ready to  _ poison _ each other.”

Sun and Moon exchanged a glance of concern as they watched the grown man climb onto his own DJ table set-up. He shut off the current track, and the room fell into silence. 

Gold tapped the mic, gathering the attention of the room.

“Test, test, hey kids, what’s up it’s your DJ Gold here to tell you that tonight’s on FIIIIRE, am I right? Haha!” 

The room stared. He’d interrupted the “Cha Cha Slide”, the absolute madman. 

“Anyway, here’s my hit SoundCloud single, ‘Bitches Give Stiches to Clowns That Get Down’” 

Silence, except for a holler from Black going “Yay, DJ Gold!”

Gold flipped on his instrumental track and let the fresh beats flow through him.

“When you a clown on the town and you frown, ya gonna drown

“Time to go, throw out the woes, get in the throes be finding the hoes be on your TOES- shit guess it’s back to Johto for me.” 

The faculty was starting to approach him, and he had to act fast before they pulled him down, therefore Gold could think of no better solution than to punt his very own expensive microphone as his last bit of performance, finishing off with a dab. 

Of course, not used to kicking things in his fancy kicks, the mic dropped way off of target…

…and into the poisoned punch bowl with a spark. 

* * *

Despite the gym burning down, many of the students that attended prom that year at Unova High School recall fondly the many memories and fun times they shared… even if it only lasted for thirty hot minutes.

**Author's Note:**

> Getting to host this event was a blast, and I hope any readers finding this also enjoy the other fabulous products of the event!


End file.
